Friday, October 23, 2009

The CtUPID Mystery

For starters, I hate philosophy but you see, its flowing deep down in my veins and whatever I do, I can't get rid of.

One day I was just gazing in the sky and an arrow hit me. It was cupids arrow. Ofcourse you might be wondering how the hell can he hit me with his arow when there ain't a female in KGP [(1).I am not GAY. (2) The law still criminalised homosexuals when it hit me]. So, trying to solve this mystery of why Cupid hit me with his arrow at the wrong time, I let my head wander aimlessly to the past. And you see, its been my favourite passtime to fantasize and philosophise about stuff which according to a friend of mine ain't fruitful but sometimes could well be fun. (Might well be a reason for my taciturn behaviour and aloofness from Sansaar ki Moh-Maaya)

It all began with Eve eating the fruit from the 'Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil' and since then the population increased and not to mention, the burden of acads buut that ain't a problem as we hardly study. Long long time before, there was hardly any workload for poor Cupid. SO he picked up a couple and shot his bows at them. It is't that he made perfect couples but he made happy ones. Ofcourse forget the Trojan war, I am not into that.

So as we became 7 billion, Cupid has to do something new. He had run out of time and could blame only himself for overshooting people with his bows which eventually lead to the avalanche we see today. Ofcourse sprinkling was quite obviously the answer to his problem and that is what he did. He sprinkled his arrows and one of them hit me dude. Now, given that I had no girl to see, my love became self-love/love fantasy. But coming to this later, I picked up an issue which bothers many of us.

Lets take a general case. Suppose there's a girl in your surroundings who is just about pretty. Now Cupid comes and hovers over your area and shoots round about. One of the arrows hits the girl but none hits you. And voila, the girls sees you first after being hit by the arrow. Poor girl can't help herself from falling desperately in love with you but you see, her advances actually work against you. You're left creeping for your personal space sometimes, sometimes you feel pestered by her behaviour but its hardly her fault. She is madly in love with you and doesn't know a thing about what she's doing. Do you see, there lies the problem.

So, it isn't enough that you're in love or you're attracted to a person. But hope still previls.... if you're a guy, there's a movie "How To Seduce Difficult Women" and if you're a girl, watch "Seducing Mr. Perfect", a korean movie. Also watch "He's Just Not That Into You" to know when to back off.

If it doesn't work, forget that guy/girl, its mistake of The CtUPID that he didn't shot both of you. But ain't it that the fun lies in Seducing Difficult Women or Seducing Mr. Perfect?

Neverthless I don't think you should really waste your time if things ain't working out. You'll get your perfectly imperfect partner for your life. Just don't disturb the tiny fabric of time too much that you may have to bear its repercussions.

I am sorry for some of the girls and i feel sorry for some


Sunday, February 8, 2009

Bangalore Shiv Ram Sena

In the news was that Shiv Ram Sena announced that if they see a girl and a boy moving together in the streets they will either get them married or make the girl tie the boy raksha bandhan

Just imagine that you were in the streets of bangalore with a gal whom you love, the gal being aware of that but doesn't like you. And suddenly you were sorrounded by Shiv Ram Sena forcing you to marry ( waah ....ladke ki kismat khul gayi)

You ask the gal: This is the last time I can ask; Will you marry me?
The gal: (bursts into tears) Oh please! I don't like you, I won't be able to love you. Please don't force me! (weeping)
You say: If thats the way she will tie me raksha bandan
The gal agrees: She brings her hand forward to do it. ( I am not blaming the gal, just cos some duffer loves her doesn't mean she should get married to him)
But the boy who is shattered as his gal doesn't have any feelings towards him, as he moves his hand forward, he says to himself that to love her girl is his only wish and he can't give it away by letting her tying raksha bandhan; so he asks the Shiv Sena activists to cut his hands so that he can neither ask that gals hand nor be her brother. These people were looking for violence and they retreat at the boys they are getting ready to cut his hands, the gal interrupts them and says that she is ready to marry the boy. The boy with a mixed feeling of joy and relief.......says 'I Love you' to the girl and............................(you tell me the story; answer is but obvious)

If ever this happens to be the case with you, I suggest you two options:
  1. If you are a Man, slap the activists with all your might so that it echoes in the entire city and ask them to do something useful. Its not valentines day that has spoiled the youth of India; Its a section of youth who cannot control their lust have brought disrespect to V day
  2. Or simply take a chance and runaway from the girl; if the girl is alone they shouldn't do anything to her. (this is a more feasible option as imaginary as the story is in itself)